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Talk to Children

2/7/2014

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If you have children or if you are exposed to children--- talk to them.

Ask them what's happening in their lives; listen to what they have to say. According to psychologists from birth to around 8 years old is the imprint period for children, so whatever happens in that time frame is imprinted in them to carry forward in their lives. 

We are all born with a clear, clean slate with total dependence on our mothers and fathers for love, food, shelter and guidance. 

So, if they are exposed to trauma or some ongoing pattern they will carry that forward in life in their behavior. Children are very impressionable when young and their brains are like sponges soaking up everything that happens to them, that's how they learn so fast and well. Babies learn within hours from birth, that if they cry they will get the attention they require

Then, as they get older the people they are surrounded by shapes them. Teachers, friends, neighbors, religion, parents, siblings and other family all play a part in molding them to create their belief systems and values.

I know of people that have been told "you will never amount to anything" by teachers and been called "stupid" by their parents. 

I also know of people that have been sexually, verbally and/or physically abused and it is very interesting to see how their lives have turned out.

When I was young all I wanted to be was a nurse. I joined St John's Ambulance Service when I was 10, volunteered at the local hospital and mum and dad paid for tutoring so I could pass year 12 Biology. Then I applied and was accepted into Nursing, which back then was a training hospital. At 17 it was my life's dream had come true!

In my second year of training I nursed my soon to be father in law who had terminal liver cancer, it was a very tough time caring for him at work as well as taking him home on weekends from time to time.

And then he died...

I didn't cope well with that, it was the first real exposure to the death of a "family" member. I had what they called back then a "nervous breakdown" and was unable to work. 

I didn't go to a doctor because I didn't want any record of mental illness on my records and I didn't get any professional help. After a few weeks I returned to work and I was still assigned to the same ward. I walked into the room where my father in law had been and I had a vision of a decaying body in the bed --- I freaked out and went to the nurses' station where the head sister came to see me and said "I don't know why you are feeling this way, you should feel it an honor to have cared for a family member!" and then she sent me home.

I was summoned to the Matron of the hospital and basically given 2 choices - resign or be sacked! I resigned and then fell into a deep depression.

My dream shattered! I felt a failure...

Fast forward to today some 25+ years, and if you've read my story from my website can you see how I carried that forward in my life?

I wanted to "fix" people's problems and when I couldn't I felt a failure and I repeated the same pattern of depression --- WOW! Big realization for me.

The world and circumstances of that story I'm sure would be different today, however that's how I allowed my world to evolve.

So, if you have a recurring pattern in your life, think about where it first started and rewrite the scenario for yourself... Smash the mold of the belief or judgment you have on yourself.

Look for signs with children that you are involved with. Their behavior is a representation of what is going on in their minds, speak to them, guide them and above all if they need professional help do everything in your power to make it happen.

Children are our future... go create a Ripple

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29 lessons in Life, Yep I've Narrowed it Down!

10/9/2013

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1. Life doesn't always seem fair, but overall, it's still good. 

2. When in doubt, just take one step at a time. 

3. Hating anyone is too stronger burden to carry. 

4. Friends and parents will care for you when you are sick. Stay in touch and don't forget to return the favor. 

5. Pay off your credit cards every month or cut up the card. 

6. It's okay to agree to disagree. Some subjects are just that way. 

7. Crying is a healing mechanism and a body's way of letting go of a build up of emotion... Let it happen every now and then.

8. Save 10% of your earnings. 

9. Make peace with your past, learn from it then it won't screw up the present. 

10. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry - God never blinks. 

11. Remember to breathe. It's the most calming, free ability we have! 

12. De-clutter everything, house, car, office briefcase, handbag and your mind. 

13. When it comes to doing or going after what you love in life, don't take 'no' for an answer. Find a way. 

14. Burn the special candles, wear your favorite perfume/cologne every day, wear your special clothes more often. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Buy new undies...

15. Be well prepared,then go with the flow.

16. Be daring and out there now. Don't wait for "old age" to wear red. 

17. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 

18. Think when every so-called disaster happens, "This too shall pass", "what is the lesson?", and  "what's my next step?"

19. What other people think of you is has nothing to do with you. 

20. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. 

21. Don't take yourself so seriously. Lighten up. 

22. Believe in miracles. They happen every day. 

23. 80% of success is just showing up. 

24. Your children only get one childhood, enjoy it with them. 

25. Take time out in the sun every day. 

26. If we all threw our problems into the ring and saw everyone else's, we'd probably grab ours back. 

27. No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed up and show up. 

28. Be kind to strangers. 

29. Smile for no reason, because you can.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase".  Martin Luther King
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You are the master of your attitude

10/5/2013

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Showing the attitude of gratitude to the people around you is vital in developing the three most important traits of a successful person.

Most successful people have 3 common traits when it comes to gratitude... They are Connection, Commitment and Humility. 

Connection simply means your constantly growing connections and ties with numerous people with different talents and skills without prejudice. Taking people at face value for what they achieve with the skills they have.


Commitment indicates that you are committed to these people around and you are willing to work with them to achieve common goals. Giving them a hand up not hand out and leading them to find new skills and by leading by example.

Humility ensures that you remain humble and constantly show care and concern to the people around you. With just knowing in your heart that you have made a difference is all the thanks you need. 

This all starts with attitude. 

First connect with the talents and skills you already have, stand back and acknowledge how far you have come in life and look at what you have rather than what you DON'T have. Then, be committed to yourself to continue to grow by adopting new skills to achieve goals you have or dreams that seem unreachable. All the while, being humble, remembering where you have come from and the shoulders of people you have stood on to get there. 

So, master your attitude with gratitude to the people around you or working for you. Say a simple thank you, acknowledge how much help they have been and compliment them throughout the day for their efforts and contributions. 

When you "ripple" gratitude to the people around you, they will reciprocate contributing more to help you achieve your tasks and goals. It makes it a win-win for everyone. 

The way I see it, is the people around you each play a vital role in building your own success, by showing gratitude to yourself first and then radiating it you will receive it.

Practice, Practice, Practice... this takes effort and mindfulness to completely change your attitude to gratitude in ALL aspects of your life. This is a new skill that will take LOTS of practice, it's not going to happen overnight, but it will happen! 

May you enjoy more abundance in your life with gratitude

Ripple On...
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If it is to be, it's up to me

9/28/2013

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10 little words... 

When I was just a teenager, I watched a lady that had something that made her body shake from head to toe making walking an almost impossible task however she had the most unstoppable urge to learn and not allow this condition to take over her. She went to University and studied to get many degrees. To write assignments she would tie volumes of encyclopedia's to her arms to steady her hands to write. 

This girl had GUTS. 

She mesmerized me. Her stories about getting through University and navigating her life are vivid. She was determined to live her life and her mantra was "If it's going to be, it's up to me". 

Successful people everywhere have proved that you can accomplish just about anything in life if you have an unwavering passion for what you want to achieve.

You must adopt an attitude of "whatever it is going to take I am committed to making it happen". 

Challenges or obstacles will come along the way, deal with them one at a time all the while drawing on your inner strength and belief that you can achieve it.
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Like the snails in this picture... Look around, consider your options, get creative, pull on your burning desire and push through 
(they are very cute hey). 

You may have to stop and ponder or consider different choices... 

Did you know that a plane on its way to a destination is rarely on a direct path? It depends on weather conditions, air traffic control but just like when you ignore the person on your GPS that is taking you to a destination it re-routes itself and still gets you to the desired location.

So, if you can't go under it, go over it; 
if you can't go through it, go around it; 
if you can't find it, look elsewhere; 
if you need to wait for it, do something else whilst it happens.

When you have that first idea of what it is you want to achieve, it's most likely going to change as you begin. You may even begin several times!

Butterfly Connections certainly looked MUCH different 10 years ago; however the core idea is still the same.

So consider "if it is to be, it is up to me" these 10 little words that make a huge statement. 

What are you going to do with them? 

I look forward to hearing about your experience.

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Making a difference, creates a ripple...

9/26/2013

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You may have a read a bit of my journey over the last few years and know I am continually working with a number of issues with my immune system, hormonal imbalances and mental health. 

In the early days I would drag myself across to the local shopping center. I would make myself be around people and I would just sit and observe, and the following is what happened one day...

I was sitting in one of my favorite eating places - I call it the 'green lounge office'. I was feeling sorry for myself and hating my world when I looked up and there is this girl being pushed in a pram, she is about 8 years old, bald and very pale.

I immediately felt you poor love, what a shit experience you are going through... and without thinking I winked at her. She stared at me her face remaining totally expressionless. The man pushing the pram kept walking past and I noticed a childhood cancer bag hanging from the back of the pram, I whispered "good luck gorgeous girl"...

About 10 minutes later I had almost finished my coffee and about to get up and go when around the corner this same girl came again... 

This time with a Double Decker Wendy's Ice-cream smothered in hundreds and thousands and she was licking the ice-cream like she had been craving it for weeks! As she went past me this time she looked at me and gave me a wink!

Yep, I cried...

My pain not so obvious - her's very, however a small connection created a silent ripple effect of understanding and a moment of joy... 

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Time to "Triple D" your To Do List

9/25/2013

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by Lanny Franny

I might be a bit ambitious here yet I'm hoping you all make To Do Lists? 

Today I want you to expand on how you use your To Do List. 

I want you to "triple D" it... Here's the three D's... 

Do it 
How long have some of the things you need to do been on your list? Simply create time in your diary and do it! Stop procrastinating and take action. You might even find you get it done quicker than moaning about having to do it. 

Delete it 
You might want to actually question yourself about some things on your list. Do you really need to do it? Is there an easier way to get it done or do you just delete it and move on? 

I had this pile of magazines recently that I "needed to keep". When I decided to actually look at the magazines guess what I threw 90% of them out! 

Delegate it 
Can someone else do some of your tasks? By this I don't mean abdicate I mean if you were to give some clear instruction on how, what and when you want something done, could someone else do it for you? 

Sometimes having someone else do things for you is more rewarding than doing it yourself and if you think "no-one else can do it as good as me" it's time to get over yourself and give yourself some freedom. 

Let's know how you go... and those that are nervous... trust me, there is no greater feeling than crossing off a "To Do List" item.
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