Are You Wearing the Drama Tiara?
by Lanny Franny
Today I'm going to explain something I think you will be able to relate to someone you know... well! - tongue in cheek!
Each title below explains it's role it plays the drama cycle. All of us have all of these parts however one trait will probably be the most dominant.
Intimidator
Controlling, dominant, arrogant, feels superior - "My way or the highway..."
Blames others, short fused, judgmental, uncompromising, has to win at all costs, punishes through abuse including silence, uncaring and shows a pattern of anger, jealousy, stubbornness and resentment.
Sufferer
Feels powerless, hopeless, fearful and can't think clearly. Low self esteem, lacks confidence, manipulates others to do things for them out of pity, does not want to take responsibility for themselves or face any change. Allows others to dominate them and tell them what to do, wants someone to save them and allows people to hurt them because they don't think they deserve any better
Saviour
Looks after everyone else, tries to make things better - without dealing with the underlying conflict, gives in to peace at any cost, feels guilty when says "no", they impose themselves on others even when not needed, take on so many burdens they get burnt out. Appears to be the good guy but actually keeps others in the sufferer role by doing everything for them - needing to be needed - takes through their "caring".
OUCH! I hear some of you say and OMG that's so and so, OK then... which one do YOU do most?
For me... I was the best at being the saviour, it was as if I had it tattooed on my forehead. Then when I became burnt out I became the Sufferer and the Intimidator! You just get dizzy going around this cycle, back and forward and like attracts like, so the more you wear the drama tiara the more drama you will attract!
So - How do you take off the Tiara?
First you need to observe your behavior and recognize what role you are playing, then you simply have to say to yourself STOP! - what is a better way?
Step out of the cycle and look at the scenario with different eyes.
Remove emotion, tap into logicality and ask yourself for a better way... you have all the resources needed inside of you to get the answer.
For some people this is their lifeline, they have to participate to get their "fix". It's time to get a life... Leave Drama for the movies. Learn new strategies to remove the Drama Tiara and SMASH that mould.
It's a much greater feeling being responsible for your own actions and having others take responsibility for theirs. So get out the trainer wheels and keep practicing this one... you will get the speed wobbles and may even fall off, get back up and give it another go acknowledging what you allowed to happen. Hey, these ways are embedded RUTS of normal life, it's going to take some time to make a new road.
Lanny Franny
by Lanny Franny
Today I'm going to explain something I think you will be able to relate to someone you know... well! - tongue in cheek!
Each title below explains it's role it plays the drama cycle. All of us have all of these parts however one trait will probably be the most dominant.
Intimidator
Controlling, dominant, arrogant, feels superior - "My way or the highway..."
Blames others, short fused, judgmental, uncompromising, has to win at all costs, punishes through abuse including silence, uncaring and shows a pattern of anger, jealousy, stubbornness and resentment.
Sufferer
Feels powerless, hopeless, fearful and can't think clearly. Low self esteem, lacks confidence, manipulates others to do things for them out of pity, does not want to take responsibility for themselves or face any change. Allows others to dominate them and tell them what to do, wants someone to save them and allows people to hurt them because they don't think they deserve any better
Saviour
Looks after everyone else, tries to make things better - without dealing with the underlying conflict, gives in to peace at any cost, feels guilty when says "no", they impose themselves on others even when not needed, take on so many burdens they get burnt out. Appears to be the good guy but actually keeps others in the sufferer role by doing everything for them - needing to be needed - takes through their "caring".
OUCH! I hear some of you say and OMG that's so and so, OK then... which one do YOU do most?
For me... I was the best at being the saviour, it was as if I had it tattooed on my forehead. Then when I became burnt out I became the Sufferer and the Intimidator! You just get dizzy going around this cycle, back and forward and like attracts like, so the more you wear the drama tiara the more drama you will attract!
So - How do you take off the Tiara?
First you need to observe your behavior and recognize what role you are playing, then you simply have to say to yourself STOP! - what is a better way?
Step out of the cycle and look at the scenario with different eyes.
Remove emotion, tap into logicality and ask yourself for a better way... you have all the resources needed inside of you to get the answer.
For some people this is their lifeline, they have to participate to get their "fix". It's time to get a life... Leave Drama for the movies. Learn new strategies to remove the Drama Tiara and SMASH that mould.
It's a much greater feeling being responsible for your own actions and having others take responsibility for theirs. So get out the trainer wheels and keep practicing this one... you will get the speed wobbles and may even fall off, get back up and give it another go acknowledging what you allowed to happen. Hey, these ways are embedded RUTS of normal life, it's going to take some time to make a new road.
Lanny Franny